Where Do I Go From Here?

2 days after my 33rd birthday, I found myself in a familiar but forgotten position: I once again became unemployed. I did it to myself, only thinking of myself and it happened because of pure selfishness. In the middle of a busy dinner rush, out of pure frustration, shaking because of hunger and feeling like I was going to pass out, I left my position, said, I'm done, I'll see y'all later, and walked out. I had grown increasingly frustrated there as it was, I was there for so long it just kinda became mundane and routine, but I was so tired of the customers (and I'm a people person) little things that I had no control over would have me screaming on the inside. I kept so much inside for so long that it wasn't healthy, while being fake and friendly on the outside. I still HAD to greet each customer with a smile and thank them with the same fake smile, while screaming at cursing at them in my mind, I had just reached my breaking point. But where do I go from here? It seems every time I try to make it ahead in this world, I have a set back like this. There is no reason for me, at 33 years old, to be unemployed and living at home.

I quickly began weighing my options. I applied at several places kinda half-heartedly, thinking to myself, can I see myself doing this for more than 6 months or doing it long-term? Trust me, I never wanted to be at my most recent employer for almost 7 years. I hated it, but it was close to home and it was steady constant work. I got paid weekly so it seemed like I always had money even though the amount of work was not equal to what I got paid.

I have never had a full-time job, and I don't see that changing, and I almost picked a bad time to leave (although is there ever?) because right now w/the holiday shopping season starting, most businesses are only hiring for seasonal work or are already fully staffed.

Tuesday night I had a prayer time w/my parents, who obviously aren't happy about my choice but are still fully supportive of me trying to find steady work (because, again, being 33 and living at home, just isn't right. Women are throwing themselves at a 33-year-old unemployed guy living at home), trying to see where I do go from here, and asking God to open doors and show me the right place.

This year I lost my job and my girl. That means I'm only meant for bigger and better things!