Lately I have been thinking a lot as to how my life was 2 years ago. 2014 doesn't seem too long ago but I can see how far I have come personally in the past 2 years. I went through a lot that year, looking back now it all seemed so petty but I am so much better off now. To begin the year I had gone through a tough breakup. When you wait your whole life to be with someone and you think you have "the one" and then when it's over it's like, ok what's next? It literally took me all of that year to get over her. And still being involved in the same nightly activities and seeing each other multiple times throughout the week didn't help my healing process. We had a mutual friend that I would get answers out of, I felt like I was using that person instead of being a friend. While I got to do a lot of amazing things and meet some awesome people throughout the entire year, inside I was miserable. I didn't look to God for any of my answers. I sought wisdom of my friends and tried to find the answers myself, which always led to nowhere. I met another girl who ended up being a complete pshyco-attention starved crazy person. We went out once and I ended it when she started moving too close too fast and I ended up hurting her. Again, took too long to try and put an end to the wrong I may have done.
My longtime job I had got to be too stressful and later in the year dad had some health issues and I was more worried/focused on that and the workload became too much and one night in the middle of my shift I had literally had enough and left. Desperate to quickly find other work I took the low road and ended up working in fast food again. Dead-end, low pay, not enjoying any of it. Literally working to work and to earn a paycheck.
Last year was a little better. I couldn't afford anything, had a couple opportunities that fell by the wayside and was just struggling to get by.
2016 was the year I was bound and determined to find something to better improve myself personally and to be more financially stable in hopes to finally be out on my own (mid-30s living at home...so wrong...) and God is blessing me with a great job that I enjoy and making more money, and I'm not coming home stressed out at the end of the night.
2 years. A lot has changed. I was miserable on the inside. I'm a Christian. A child of God. Christ lives in me. Why was I miserable? I lost what I thought was my one-true love. He has someone better for me (there's days I have doubts...we all have doubts) but I'm still holding on to hope and I know it's in His timing and not mine. There are areas in my life I need to give up and He is slowly working on me in that area, and also putting full trust in Him
The first half of this year has already been amazing and am so blessed w/not only the new job opportunity but the chance to meet so many new people and to see old friends again by chance and to experience new things. Cannot wait to see what the rest of this year has in store for me. Thanks God!
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