Taking a Stand

Choosing my words very carefully here, I've all all weekend plus a day to chew, digest, and dissect my words and thoughts on this topic. To stand or kneel during the national anthem, especially during NFL games, where it is taking the center of attention.

I have been an avid NFL (and Kansas City Chiefs) fan for 3 decades now. I have 4 binders full of trading cards (yes, I still collect, not like I used to...spend money on adulting things) and am fiercely passionate about the Chiefs (being my hometown, they have been a big part of my life since I was 10 years old). 

Ever since has-been QB Colin Kaepernick decided to begin protesting the National Anthem last year to talk about "racial inequality" (and please, I don't need a lecturing from a 29-year-old biracial person who was adopted and raised by a middle class white family who makes $20 million a year to ride the bench) He knows NOTHING about oppression..

The beginning of this season, seeing how this whole protesting has become the spotlight, I said I'm only going to watch the Chiefs this year, I am tired of the protesting. I watch football and other sports to take my mind off the cares of daily life, and it sucks that politics and sports are now intertwining.

I attended a sports bar in Richardson Sunday to watch the Chiefs, and all week I read on Twitter how many players were thinking about "taking a knee" (And #TakeAKnee became a trending hashtag on twitter) I said if ANY Chiefs players kneel I will temporarily take a break from them. And sure enough 2 prominent (one white, one black) Chiefs took a knee, one on the bench, both had their hand over their hearts, but it seemed to me to be a half-hearted effort.

All across the league players demonstrated their disrespect for our flag. Entire teams knelt, some teams stayed in the locker room. Players locked arms as a sign of unity while some knelt while locked in arms. The entire Steelers team was in the tunnel except for one offensive lineman who played at Army and served and received a bronze heart while serving. If ANY player deserves the right to stand attentive to our anthem, it's Villanueva. Later, though, the Steelers head coach had the nerve to chastise him. I lost ALL respect for Mike Tomlin right then.

This whole anthem protesting and racial inequalities is based on half-truths and full lies from the media. And the media isn't helping. They are fanning the flames. They are the ones who show which players are protesting. Quit giving those players the spotlight. Don't focus on them being disrespectful.

I understand they have the first amendment right to peacefully protest, but on the sidelines while the National Anthem is playing, is NOT the time. They are on their company time, being payed (millions) by their employer, to play a child's game. I understand they are using this stage and their occupation to take a stand (or knee) but I look at it from my perspective, and us "regular" folks who work and grind and trying to make a living. I show up at work to work. I try and leave my politics out of it. I may pull a coworker aside and have a one-on-one conversation about something happening in the world, but I understand my job is more important than my political views, while I am on company time. I don't think my boss would appreciate me protesting supposed inequalities while I'm on the clock.

Something else I'm passionate about, and am becoming even moreso, is auto racing. I think everyone knows how big of a racing fan I am. I have been literally my entire life. Going to races in person, be it at the professional NASCAR level all the way to the local dirt track, is some of the most fun you will ever have! The site of 40 cars roaring by you at 200 MPH, to dirt cars sliding through the corners, the smell of the racing fuel, the way the drivers interact with the fans, there's nothing like it. And there is no more patriotic fan base than racing fans. During the anthem, every driver, crew member, and fan is saluting the flag and anthem as it is supposed to be. Saturday night at my local dirt track, before the anthem played, the track announcer said we ALL stand for the anthem. I was at the concession stand and tried to hurry back to salute the flag and honor those who had fallen defending it. Made it back just in time. Hat over my heart, singing word for word, and reflecting. What the flag means to me. As an American. As a Christian. Freedom. Freedom that I live in America. Freedom I have as a Christian and a Child of God. Thinking of those who sacrificed their all for our country and that flag.

I hate to see our anthem at the center of our controversy. If this trend continues, I don't even want to know what lengths those who oppose it will do until it's probably completely removed, because freedom offends them. 

I'm glad I live in what is still the greatest country in the world. "And I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free, and I won't forget the men who died and gave that right to me, and I'll gladly STAND UP and defend her still today, cause there ain't no doubt I love this land. God bless the USA"

"If my people, who are called by My name, will humble themselves and pray, I will hear them from heaven and heal their land" 2 Chronicles 7:14

Running Away From You is What My Best Defense Is

Every so often when one of my church groups goes through a dating or relationship series, it always gets me thinking. And currently my beloved singles group at my church is currently going through an adulting Bible study series and last 2 weeks we've ironically talked about dating and relationships, and as little experience as I have in those areas, I've been surprisingly quiet, but it has gotten my motor running and done a lot of thinking. And I'm using some relatively recent personal experiences of mine. It seems that if I know someone is interested in me (the few times that I know of) and I know it's not mutual I shut that person out, or if it's someone that I really REALLY like and have no reason as to why I do when asked, instead of saying anything because I know it's not mutual on her part, I run away from them. Ouch.

Example 1: L and I were basically best friends. Shortly after my one breakup. Nothing beyond friendship, I thought. We could talk about anything and everything, and one day out of the blue she said she liked me. My response: that's fine, I'm not interested. Things then got awkward (rather, I made them awkward) when I found out she was w/someone I basically did away with her. Long story short we do remain friends, but she's with the right person. I get awkward.

Example 2: A is someone who is 15 years younger than me, come to find out she was interested in me as well. Sorry but 15 years is too much of an age difference. I never gave it a second thought when we weren't around each other. I shut her out, pretty much for good. Too awkward with the age difference.

Example 3: G. EVERYONE knows this story. Completely infatuated for a year-and-a-half and said and did nothing because I knew it wasn't mutual.  Once I finally grew some stones and told her, I tried to shut it off w/her. I've never been good at giving people space. I took her number out of my phone (which thanks to smart phone technology, you never truly do) I tried to hide ALL the photos of her and I on facebook, and one of her and I on another friend's page I just untagged myself. I was trying so hard to move on from her, and quickly, but yet she would still dominate my thoughts, almost all day every day. I was told not to contact her. Almost did. I would drop a few texts seeing how she was doing. Long story short, I saw her in passing a few weeks ago, I felt nothing. Felt like I was seeing an old friend and I felt like I had my closure. Still in contact, thankfully.

I realized that by me shutting out everyone who may be interested in me or running away from those I am interested in, how am I ever truly going to find the One? Confidence is one thing I've been lacking my entire life. I feel that I would rather be friends with her than anything beyond that, I think that goes back to my childhood having no friends, and fear of losing friends. I was close with all 3 of these.

I think another reason I would rather run away than face my fears is because I'm afraid I'm going to get hurt. Again. I've had more heartache and rejection in my life that it's all I've ever known, and after my ex and I broke up, I think I was also quickly and frantically trying to replace her with someone. It seems to be a trend with me. It seems the quicker I try and move on from those that the worse I tend to make it for myself. Never again.

Just need to sit back and wait on God and also be active in my search, but not trying to fill a void inside as well. As I wrote in some lyrics 7 years ago, "I'll keep waiting, she'll show up in God's perfect timing"

And as Relient K said (which is the title of this entry) "Running away from you is what my best defense is"