2020 Hindsight

 2020 is a year we'll never soon forget, whether we want to or not. I still made the best out of a bad situation.

In February, even though I wasn't there to attend in person, my Kansas City Chiefs won the Super Bowl. You wait your whole life for your team to finally do something, and I soaked it all in. We got burnt ends from Hutchins for that authentic KC BBQ feel for the game, but I was sick and I didn't even touch them till the next day. Fun. A friend of mine went to the game and sent me a rally towel, I also have a shirt, hat, bumper sticker, license plate frame, and mini-helmet with the Chiefs Super Bowl victory. It was a long time coming and I want to experience another one now!

In March, the whole Still clan ventured out to Estes Park, Colorado to enjoy each other's company and God's creation. This was right when the "pandemic" was starting. We had to cut the trip early, not due to the rise of the rona, but for the threat of a blizzard that was going to drop a foot of snow the first day of spring. Before we met my brother and his family at our VRBO, I had to see Red Rocks Ampitheatre in Morrison. I had seen many concerts on tv from there, would love to check a show there, and didn't realize it was actually in a park. Super cool area. Colorado was a wonderful trip but everything started going downhill from there.

April. Lock down. Can't work. Can't see my friends. Can't go to church. Can't go to races. Can't do anything. Why? I would do zoom sessions with my lifegroup but it wasn't the same. They would see me as I just woke up on Sunday mornings. There was times in the month of April I felt completely alone. I was temporarily laid off from work as I was deemed "non-essential" but halfway through April I was like, screw it, we're ALL essential. I refused to sign up for unemployment because I'm a firm believer in earning everything you have, so I lived off my stimulus check and my tax return for several months.

Once May opened back up I went to a dirt track the first night tracks were opened back up, and did nothing but dirt racing all summer at several different tracks in the area.

Last Saturday in May, when my home track in Greenville opened back up, I finally got to drive a race car. One generous driver let me hop in his limited mod and let me pack the track (packing the track is basically idling clockwise to work the track in to make it less muddy) I remember stalling the motor 4 times after I fired it up, and I when I pulled back into the pit area I pulled his car up at the wrong hauler. Oops. But you couldn't wipe the smile off my face the rest of the night basically. 

This summer when I wasn't working I went to several different dirt tracks in the area, either my local track (I was basing it off my budget and had a plan that I could only attend so many nights before I ran out of money, drivers were more than willing to help me out, but I'm not one for charity) until God and their track owner stepped in. They gave me a VIP card which means I get in free for life. I am forever grateful. I'm one of the track photographers there and I love it, and with that I get all kinds of perks of being the photographer. I get shirts, hats, food, drinks, sometimes cash from drivers in exchange for photos. It's an even trade.

In June I had an interview with a store in Prosper but they were going to only offer me 12 hours a MONTH, NOT worth it. So just wait. Rely on and have trust in God.

Also in June, I went to Devil's Bowl Speedway in Mesquite to see some sprint cars. I got to see former NASCAR drivers Tony Stewart and Kasey Kahne race, along w/NASCAR super star Kyle Larson, who was suspended from NASCAR for accidental use of a racial slur. Got to meet them all before or after the event, Larson was super nice, and he won the feature (he is probably the best pure racer in the country) and Tony Stewart is what you think he is.

Also in June, a friend of mine from church told me about a free concert in Sherman featuring Scott Stapp of Creed, it was in my budget. We went and got our faces rocked off, and we were able to meet the rest of the band minus Scott afterwards.

In July, the same friend and I went and saw Christian rock/worship band Seventh Day Slumber at a small church in Denison. Again, free, in my budget. Got to meet their whole band afterwards, nicest guys ever.

I was slated to return to the church division with Lifetouch in August, that was delayed (and eventually completely closed down due to COVID) I received an e-mail about JC Penney Portrait studios hiring, so I jumped on that, I was added to their rotation in September, I'm 15 minutes from home and it gives me some financial stability, finally.

This has been a year like no other, the 2 verses I clung to this year were, "My God shall provide all your needs" and "God has not given us a spirit of fear" 

In 2020, I didn't work for 7 months, but I was able to go to 7 different dirt tracks in the area. Racing was my escape and getaway and for one night a week it gave me something to look forward to, and thankful for the generosity of drivers and track personnel as well.

Hopefully 2021 is better for everyone.

"I don't know what the future holds but I know Who holds my future"-Switchfoot.

Chiefs Best 30-year-team/My All-Time Favorite Chiefs

 With the Chiefs (not the NFL, I could care less about the NFL as an organization) but the Defending Super Bowl Champion (It feels SO good to say that) season rapidly approaching, I came up with an all-time team--from the last 30 years, which is about when I started paying attention to football, so basically, none of the guys from the glory years of the '60s or the forgotten seasons of the '70s and '80s. Why? Because I had to have seen that player on TV to be included in this list. I also did a list for my 10-all-time favorite Chiefs players. So, here we go.

Quarterback: I mean, is there any other option besides Patrick Mahomes? My other options were Trent Green or Alex Smith, and they don't have anything on him. Transitional QB. Once-in-a-generation QB. Already has HOF and GOAT stats in his 2nd full season of starting.

Running Back: This was a difficult choice as the Chiefs have ALWAYS had really good solid running backs. I went with: Marcus Allen for obvious goal line situations, Jamaal Charles for burning past defenders, AND Priest Holmes for grinding out yardage. Kind of a backs by committee backfield.

Fullback: again, I had 3 really solid choices here, I chose between Kimble Anders, Tony Richardson and the Sausage Anthony Sherman. Advantage: Sherman. He is lethal out of the backfield and has good hands. Can't go wrong with any of them.

Tight Ends: There's clearly only 2 choices here: The best to ever play the game and the current best in the game. Tony Gonzalez and Travis Kelce. Who do I pick? Flip a coin.

Wide Receiver: this was tough as for the most part, the Chiefs haven't had a lot of standout receivers over the last 30 years. Some guys were one-season wonders and I consider having played for the team at least 2 years to be considered (although I made one exception on defense...stay tuned)
Tyreek Hill (clearly a no-brainer here) Fastest player I've ever seen, unbelievably explosive, and arguably the most dangerous offensive weapon in the league today.
Andre Rison: spiderman, he had a few good seasons later in his career in KC.
Dwayne Bowe: inconsistent but had a few good seasons, I almost see him being too big for the Chiefs current receiving core.
The others I considered: Derrick Alexander. Incredibly underrated receiver, put up some big numbers during the 2000 season, and Mecole Hardman. Like I said, only consider players who have played at least 2 seasons in KC, he was an electrifying rookie last season, and the sky is the limit for him. Drafted as a question mark surrounded Hill but he became an explosive return man and eventually wideout as well.

Now I'm getting to the positions that don't get a lot of love: the big uglies. The offensive line. The Chiefs have had some great lineman over the past 30 years.

Tackle: Willie Roaf and Mitchell Schwartz. Roaf is a Hall of Famer and Schwartz is one of the best but yet somehow still incredibly underrated lineman in the league.
Center: there was about 3 options here: Tim Grunhard, Casey Wiegmann, and Mitch Morse. I went with Wiegmann. Undersized and underrated.
Guards: Will Shields and Brian Waters. Shields is a Hall of Famer and one of the best to ever do it, and Waters went from a Tight End at North Texas to being so good but overshadowed by that Hall of Fame O-Line with Roaf and Shields.

K-Again, the Chiefs have had some pretty solid kickers the last 30 years, but I went with current kicker, The Buttkicker, Harrison Butker.
P-Any other choice but Dustin Colquitt here is wrong. Some years when the Chiefs were so bad he was their MVP.
Returners: I say have Tyreek Hill, Dante Hall, and Mecole Hardman all back returning kicks and let the fastest man win.

Now, on to defense. I did as both a 3-4 and a 4-3 scheme, as the Chiefs have had both schemes in the past 30 years.

Linebackers can intertwine here, and they have had some outstanding linebackers since 1990.
Derrick Thomas and Justin Houston are the outside pass rushers. Good luck defending them.
Derrick Johnson is the clear choice for middle linebacker, criminally underrated for almost 15 seasons in KC, Donnie Edwards would be the solid backup choice.
The only other choice I thought about for linebacker would be Tamba Hali, although he was more of a 3-4 edge rusher, so I don't know how I would make that work.
My defensive end in a 4-3 would be Neil Smith, and again, in a 3-4 I don't know who would be my linebackers and edge rushers. Too much talent which isn't a bad problem to have at all, figuring out how to utilize them would be.

And now to the big uglies on the D-Line. Chris Jones is the obvious choice here. I can't recall really any standout defensive lineman, so my only other 2 choices were Dontari Poe and Dan the man Saleamua. In a 3-4, I don't know how that would work. In a 4-3, Jones and Poe would stuff the middle.

Cornerback: I can't really think of any clear-cut number 1 or 2 choices here. Had Marcus Peters not had any off-field or being an idiot issues, he would be my number 1 choice. So instead, I went a little bit old school on my picks for corner:
Albert Lewis and James Hasty

Safety: this is where I made the one exception for having only played in KC one year:
Eric Berry is my obvious choice, he's kind of the biggest "what if" in Chiefs history. When healthy, there was no one better on the field, but injuries and cancer treatment hindered and shortened his career.
My other choice is the Landlord. The honey badger. Tyrann Mathieu. Replaced the best safety in the league with the other best safety in the league. My backups would be Deron Cherry and Dirty Dan Sorenson.

And lastly this list wouldn't be complete without coahes.
My head coach would obviously be Big Red Andy Reid. Did what no other head coach in 50 years who wasn't named Hank Stram could do. Won the Super Bowl. Marty Schottenheimer and Dick Vermeil would be my next 2 choices but they couldn't clear the hurdle of the playoffs. So advantage: Big Red.
Offensive Coordinator: Eric Bienimy. Has one of the most fun jobs in the world: drawing up plays for that high-powered offense 
And my defensive coordinator would be the late Gunther Cunningham. You really think I was going to put Greg Robinson or Bob Sutton here?

That's 30-years worth of talent there. They've had some legends and it's so surprising there's only one Super Bowl to show for it. I hope that the Chiefs are the new dynasty in the AFC with the best QB and the most explosive offense in the league, and they are keeping the core together for years to come.

Now, it's time for my 10 all-time favorite players
1. Derrick Thomas. The GOAT. I met him at his house when I was 9, I took it so hard when he died, no matter who comes and goes for the Chiefs, he will always be my favorite.
2. Patrick Mahomes. Took the Chiefs 35 years to draft a QB in the first round, and the got one of the best to ever play trading up to get him.
3. Eric Berry. Became a bigger fan of him how he handled his own personal adversity after beating cancer and a ruptured Achilles. Dude was a warrior on and off the field.
4. Tony Gonzalez. The greatest tight end in history, and the player that actually had me pay attention to that position, before that they were basically a 6th offensive lineman who was a blocker and would occasionally go out for a pass.
5. Derrick Johnson. Even though he played at UT, I applauded him when the Chiefs drafted him. We share a birthday so I always had a soft spot for him.
6. Jamaal Charles. See above about Jamaal, UT product, but when you play for the Chiefs I don't care where you play at college.
7. Priest Holmes. See above above. Chiefs found a gem when they signed him from the Ravens, yes he had that all-world offensive line but he put up some BIG numbers.
8. Travis Kelce. The current best tight end in football. He's kind of a frat boy but he has a lot of fun doing what he does.
9. Justin Houston. Awesome pass rusher, looks weird seeing him wear 99 for the colts now.
And number 10, I had a difficult time with this one, but I went with:
Marcus Allen. He always showed Al Davis and the Raiders how washed up he was twice a year, always had a knack for the goal line, and by all accounts, seems like a really decent guy.

So that's it. That's 30 years worth of Chiefs players. I did some research, most of this was from memory.

Greatest Racers in History

It's no doubt I like racing. Everyone that knows me know I've been an avid race fan my entire life. I enjoy attending and photographing races. So in this down time I've had I started thinking about all the great racers I've seen (and there is a brief disclaimer: I had to have seen them race at least once in person to have made the cut) and there have been more great NASCAR drivers I didn't quite put on this list. This was a very difficult list and I had to stretch my memory as to who I can remember seeing in person. I also base it off the versatility of each driver outside of NASCAR. So with that being said, here's the list.
NASCAR (My primary go-to form of professional racing for 28 years but did not start attending Cup series races until 2007)
Jeff Gordon--never saw him win in person, but 4 championships and over 90 career wins. Record speaks for itself.
Jimmie Johnson--saw ALL of his Texas wins. 7 championships and over 80 career wins.
Tony Stewart--saw his 2011 Fall Texas win along with an IROC win at Texas in 2006, 3 Cup championships and 49 wins. Also saw him race in Nationwide, IROC, and sprint cars. One of the greatest wheelmen in history.
Mark Martin--never saw him win in person, but he won 49 career races as well, and won several IROC championships, one of the best and most underrated drivers in history.
Rusty Wallace--again, never saw him win in person, was retired when I attended my first race, but did get to meet him a couple times. 50 career Cup wins and a championship.
Kyle Busch--Seen him win in every series he's run. One of the greatest wheelmen of all-time. No further discussion needed.
Kevin Harvick--saw him win races at Michigan and Texas in person. 1 championship and 50 wins. One of the best ever and he's only getting better.
Denny Hamlin--seen him win races at Homestead and Texas, best to never win a championship.
Bill Elliott--awesome Bill. Never saw him win a race in person, by the time I saw him his winning days were behind him.
Matt Kenseth--it was a toss-up between he and Kurt Busch on this for NASCAR, but Kenseth gets the partiality nod for me. I was an unashamed die-hard Matt Kenseth fan (and still am) now that he's back. Never saw him win in person, outside of my first ever Busch race.

Indy Car: I've been to one Indy Car race in person, but would attend their practice/qualifying/autograph session for a few years.
Will Power (has the best name ever)
Scott Dixon (won the only Indycar race I attended in person)
Helio Castroneves
Juan Montoya (saw him in both NASCAR and Indycar) world class driver who almost seems underrated.
Simon Pagenaud
Tony Kanaan
Alex Rossi
Ryan Hunter-Reay
Takuma Sato
Josef Newgarden
(There may have been more that ran F-1 but I only started paying attention to Indy car full-time last season)
Sprint car (I have only attended 3 410 sprint car races along with maybe a handful of 360, because they don't run them here a lot)
Steve Kinser* (I only saw him run an IROC car, I've met his son Kraig a couple times)
Donny Schatz
Kyle Larson (saw him at Devils Bowl last month, he's as good as advertised on dirt)
Daryn Pittman
Sammy Swindell (prior to last year I only saw him race a truck on the road course at Topeka in 1995)
Brad Sweet
Jason Johnson (saw him race a few times and 2 months before he died in a crash 2 years ago)
Sam Hafertepe Jr (saw him win in ASCS 360 and run All-Star 410)
Shane Stewart
Aaron Ruetzel (saw him in both ASCS 360 and All-Star 410 sprints) Fast in both.

Misc: world-class drivers I've seen race a little bit of everything, I think there's more guys on this list than everywhere else...)
Tanner Faust (met/saw him race Global Rally 4 years ago) Maybe the greatest driver on the planet???
Scott Speed--ran F1, NASCAR, and Global Rally. World Class driver with one of the best names ever
Steve Arpin--Canadian driver I saw race USMTS modifeds and global rally. Also ran ARCA, truck, and nationwide cars. Very versatile driver.
Brian Deegan--better known as Hallie's dad, has raced off-road and global rally. Saw him run Global rally.
Ken Schrader. Nuff said. Only saw him run outside of NASCAR twice, both in dirt late models. As good as advertised. Had a chance to see him in his modified last year at my home track, but rainouts forced his schedule to change.
Robby Gordon--saw him in NASCAR and stadium super trucks. One of the most diverse racers of all-time.
Christopher Bell. I'm a bit biased here. I'm a BIG fan of this guy. One of the absolute best in midgets and sprint cars, I've only seen him in NASCAR, though.
Rico Abreu--see description for Bell.
Sebastian Bourdais--saw him in IROC and Indy car, French driver. Very diverse and versatile and underrated. Has also run Formula 1 and I think is currently running IMSA or some kind of road racing series.
Max Papis--saw him in NASCAR and IROC. Also met him several times. GREAT guy. Raced everything from Formula 1 to NASCAR.
Scott Pruett--as far as I can recall, I only saw him in NASCAR and IROC. One of the best road-racers of all-time.
Travis Pastrana. Is there anything this guy hasn't raced? Saw/met him his one year in NASCAR. Awesome guy.
Ricky Carmichael. He's called the GOAT for his Supercross record. I saw him his one year in trucks. Very nice guy.
Nelson Piquet Jr. Ran F-1. Met him his few years in NASCAR.
Narian Karthikeyan. Unknown name, I'm sure. F-1 driver from India. Ran the truck series in 2010. He was good. But was gone after that year and I have no idea what he ever did after that. Was hoping he would get a fair shot in NASCAR. If you can drive in F-1 you can drive. Period. And kinda cool to have a guy from India trying his hand in NASCAR.
Lastly--Dave Blaney. Only saw him in NASCAR. Would love to see him race sprint cars. One of the greatest sprint car drivers of all-time.

I'm excluding all the weekend warriors that show up every week, wheel their car for all its worth, and don't get the glory or the money that these guys do.

Blessed to have seen so many amazing racers in 35 of attending races.

Eracism

This is going to be a touchy subject and I'm choosing my words carefully, but also giving personal experiences to help you hopefully relate and see my world and point-of-view.

The current focus of the media is the death of George Floyd, an unarmed black man who was killed by a white police officer. Racial tensions and divide are at an all-time high. Before I give my thoughts as to what I think is really going on, let me give you some personal experiences, that haven't changed my opinion of either.

Summer 2001. 4AM. I had just gotten back from a mission trip to Colorado. Halfway between my then-church and home, I see the police lights flashing. My first thought in my weary, sleep-deprived, anxious-to-get-home mind was, what did I do wrong? Why am I being pulled over? The donut shops open at 5, am I getting pulled over to waste time? The officer walks up to my car and spits out some of his dip. I knew right then it wouldn't be a good experience. He searched me and my car, which I guess is standard protocol. It took about 10 minutes to run my plates and my license, knowing there's literally nothing on my record, and at that hour of the morning and that close to home, it felt like an eternity. He approached me again to hand me back my id. The reason for being pulled over? Taillight out. I told the officer, I had been told it had been going out (old car) but I couldn't see it from my vantage point behind the wheel. He gave me a ticket for having it out. And come to find out later, he was fired due to being inappropriate with a minor. Bad cop. Did that change my opinion of ALL police? No.

Fall 2012. Returning from Texas Motor Speedway. On highway 380 in Prosper between what is now Preston Road and the Dallas North Tollway. I had moved over into the other lane to give a state trooper room, as he already had one car pulled over, as soon as I move back into the other lane, he flips his lights on and proceeds to pull ME over. The crime? Taillight bulb was out. Very very minor infraction. I kept the passenger side locked, but was frantically digging through my glove box to find my insurance card. He walks over to that side and tried to open it (he may have been thinking I was carrying a gun, I don't know) he asked me to get out of the car and stand over by the back of the car. He asked me to lift up my shirt for any weapons, which I didn't have. And he asked me if I had drugs. I'm so innocent, I've never even SEEN any form of narcotics or illegal substances in my life. I granted his request and said you're not going to find any. The first thing he asked me when I got out of the car is if I had ever been arrested. My first thought was, this will be my first. I said no sir, he kept repeatedly asking me why I was so nervous. I said, sir, it's late I just want to get home. So after a search and again running my id and my plates, I'm let off with a warning. The rest of the 20-minute drive home I kept shaking my head and asking, why did that happen? Did that one State Trooper affect my opinion of ALL State Troopers? No.

Fall 2013. Working at a grocery store I worked at for almost 7 years, black customer comes through my line. I hand him change, thank him for coming in, look down and noticed I had a WHITE flour spot or something on my shirt. He flips out. He said, so you wiping the black off, is that it? Dumbfounded I responded, I'm sorry, what? He said, yeah, you're wiping your shirt off, is it because you touched me you're wiping the black off? I instantly apologized and said I'm sorry if I did or said anything to offend you. He stands by the bagging area and proceeds to throw the change at me, and said, hey fuck you man, if I was your manager I would never hire your punk ass. My first thought was, if you were my manager I wouldn't work for you. He said he would come back the next morning to tell the manager and try and get me fired. I came in the next morning and talked to all 3 managers, they said I was good and knew I wasn't like that. Did that change my opinion of anybody? No.

The next year (it had to have been because I quit working there in 2014) I had a regular customer come through my line, I think he was mixed, but we had always gotten along, and it was small friendly talk, he was from New Orleans and a big Saints fan, I was about to ask him about the Saints' upcoming season. He was on his phone and something switched in him, he said, I know you. I know you so well you little racist faggot bitch. My first thought was if you knew me, you would know I'm not any of what you said. He proceeded to berate me for several minutes before I politely asked him to leave. He came back , I don't know if it was to apologize or to further escalate the situation, I remained calm and again asked him to leave. I got off work and sat in my car and broke down and cried. Being called racist, when you aren't one, is probably the worst thing I've ever been called in my life.

Now I'm going to get political here. You can either choose to keep reading or stop reading here. Your call.

All of this racial division and tension is what the democrats and the media want. They are fanning the flames of racial tension. They want us divided. A house divided cannot stand. I stayed up till almost 2 in the morning on Friday night watching events unfold across the country. I'm all for peaceful protesting, but when it turns violent is another story. When they said the peaceful protests were turning violent in Dallas, my heart sank and I almost cried, remembering that tragic night just 3 years ago when a handful of DPD officers were ambushed in yet another night of police brutality protests and did not want a repeat. My heart sank when all these stores across the country were looted.

What point does looting make? Will that bring justice to a man who was wrongly murdered? There is borderline anarchy in the streets. Nothing is being done, that's the sad reality.

I'm a white suburban Midwestern male. I try not to see color. I was raised to think like Martin Luther King, not to judge a man by the color of his skin, but by the content of his character. I have had bad experiences with both police and those of a different shade of melanin than myself. That hasn't changed my opinion of either. I've always said that people are like Christmas presents, it's what's inside that counts.

As I went to bed on Friday night (Saturday morning) I began praying out of almost fear, I said please God I know You're in control and Your hand is still on this country, I pray we will never lose You or let go of Israel because only then You will turn Your back on us.

I hope it's not too late. This country needs to revert back to 2 Chronicles 1:7: If My people who are called by My Name will humble themselves and pray, I will hear them from heaven and heal their land.

Update: Holy Crap They Did It!

This will be short and sweet and to the point: On Sunday, 2-2-20, the Chiefs won the Super Bowl!!!

When they were down 10 halfway through the 4th quarter I was almost ready to make my concession speech on Facebook and say what a great ride this has been, but then The GOAT hit Tyreek Hill deep and then the comeback was on. I was fighting a cold, had a throbbing headache and dead tired, so my celebrating was light (I'm not a partier anyway) but I was almost, once again, crying grown man tears and I took a sigh of relief similar to Clark Griswold at the end of Christmas Vacation (deep breath....they did it)

I had friends and family who are fans of rival reams or teams I loathe, they texted me to congratulate me and I got more Facebook wall posts than I have since my birthday.

I always joked that I wondered what would happen first, the Chiefs win the Super bowl or I get married first. Well, the Chiefs finally did it but marriage is nowhere in sight.

Chiefs. 50 years after their only Super Bowl trophy, in the 100th season, brought the Lombardi trophy home. It was awesome, and memories I'll never forget, and I hope it's not another 50 years before they win another one!

38 years in the making

I am a lifeong Chiefs fan. Dedicated to the core. It's almost a part of my identity (Christian, racing, music junkie, Chiefs fan) I have waited 38 years for my team to do something of meaning. I have stuck with them through the highest of highs (none higher than yesterday) and the lowest of lows (the forgetful 2012 2-14 season that had the tragedy of a player killing his girlfriend and then himself at the stadium parking lot.

I remember the gut-wrenching playoff defeats of the 1995 and 1997 seasons, both being 13-3 and having home field advantage throughout (to this day, I do not want the Chiefs to have a 13-3 record because of the curse it brings) to the playoff shootout with the Colts in 2003, the once-again gut-wrenching come-from-behind defeat at the hands of the Titans in 2017, being up 21-0 and losing by 1.

Flash forward to one year ago. The Chiefs. Highest scoring offense in the league. But a screen door defense that couldn't stop a cold. The vaunted Patriots come into Arrowhead. The Chiefs hosting their first-ever AFC Championship game at Arrowhead. The Patriots come storming out with a big lead. The Chiefs fight back. Take it to overtime. Coin toss. Patriots win the toss, and the lack of defense by the Chiefs, the Patriots marched right down the field and scored on the only drive in overtime. In a span of minutes, I went from sheer elation, thinking the Chiefs had FINALLY reached the promised land, to a phantom flag. Dee Ford, number 55, lined up off-sides. The game was going to be the Chiefs. And a trip to the Super Bowl. The penalty negated any of that. I remember saying that, if they had ANY kind of defense that game would have had a different outcome. And that I kind of used the 2014 Royals as a team motivation, and I called it (before they did) unfinished business.

Yesterday. I was going to be a nervous wreck for 3.5 hours. I usually have a Chiefs wallpaper on my phone, computer, and my social media profiles. I changed everything Saturday night. I didn't wear any red yesterday, shoot, I didn't even listen to the band red. Titans come out to a quick 10-0 lead. I didn't panic. The Texans were up to a 24-0 lead in the first quarter of the divisional game, so 10-0, I was like, we got this. Patrick Mahomes had a 35-yard touchdown RUN, by that point, I pretty much figured the game and the long-overdue AFC Championship, were ours. Fittingly, Frank Clark, the NEW Number 55 for the Chiefs, ended the game with a sack of Titans QB Ryan Tannehill. The Lamar Hunt trophy was coming home!

I didn't know how to react since I had never been in this situation. Would I cry tears of joy as a sense of accomplishment, living vicariously through the lives of 53 men I've never met? Would I run around the house and dance like an out-of-rhythm white southern Baptist? I did a little bit of all of that and more. I did my fair share of yelling, shed some grown man tears, clapped really loud, and ran outside to scream, CHIEFS ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL!!!!

Why it took 50 years, I'll never know. I think of some of the great Chiefs that have played that never got that chance. Art Still (my almost namesake). Christian Okoye. Derrick Thomas (RIP), Jamaal Charles. Will Shields. Willie Roaf.  Priest Holmes. Tony Gonzlez. Derrick Johnson. Justin Houston. Eric Berry. All great players who never got to experience a Super Bowl. I also think of family members who were die-hard Chiefs fans who have gone on into glory and think of how happy they would be that the Chiefs finally got there.

I still can't believe it. I always joked that I didn't know what would happen first: I get married or the Chiefs win the Super Bowl. Well, marriage is nowhere in sight for me while there's the Chiefs, with only the San Francisco 49ers and their vaunted defense (with Dee Ford of all people) standing in their way. I see this as more unfinished business. They got this far. Only one more game to go.

I also always joked, after every playoff defeat year-after-year, I would say that when I die I want the Chiefs to be the pall bearers at my funeral, so they can let me down one more time.

They finally got there. There is no more deserving fan base on the planet to see their team have a shot at the Championship. Chiefs Kingdom deserves this. It's been 50 years. Let's bring it home!

Dear Grace

Dear Grace,

It's been one whole year since we last talked. It's all me. I never wanted to like you anything beyond friendship to begin with. And after 2 whole years after you nicely let me down, I was still constantly thinking about you, I had to move on. It was nothing you did.

I haven't removed you from my Instagram followers. Selfishly I guess, I want you to see what my life is like now, as busy and crazy and chaotic and fun as it is.

I never wanted to have feelings for you, trust me, I tried to fight it, prayed about it, when I get to heaven if I could ask God one question, it would be why did I like you so much knowing it wasn't mutual?

I would say I've completely moved on, but seeing that I'm typing this one year later, maybe I haven't??

You're an amazing person, one of the, if not the most godliest women I've ever met, which may be what I initially saw in you? I made an effort back in the fall to try and reach out to you again, but after a week I decided to cancel it and completely move on.

You will never know this, but there was a handful of times I would go through all of your photos on facebook. Infatuated, obsessed, it was wrong.

I hope you're doing well without me in your life, I never wanted it to come to this. I tend too much to dwell on my past and if I could ever truly move on from you I felt like I had to do what I had to do.

Do I miss you? Yes and no. I do miss keeping you updated on my life and would like to think, that, even after one year ago when I last heard from you even though I still tried to keep in touch, but honestly, after I told you how I felt and your response, our friendship was never the same. And no. I can't keep dwelling on someone when the feelings weren't mutual.

Thankful for the handful of years you were in my life and for the friendship we had, but I've moved on. Once and for all.
Your brother,
Steve