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 Last year I got a text from a longtime friend that I have liked off-and-on for 20 years. Text read: do you like me? Hesitant I said, I can't. She replied, why not? And I gave an answer. Later I gave a full detail saying that I absolutely adore her and that there's nobody else in the world I would rather be with. A few weeks ago she came to visit for 2 weeks, we went out twice, I paid for dinner, dropped her off gave her a long hug and a kiss on top of the head (I don't kiss, for the record, I'm the least-romantic person you will ever meet) And over the course of the last year if you would have gone through all of our messages you would have thought we were both seriously interested in each other. Thursday I got a text: hey I don't feel anything for you romantically i hope we can still be friends. Let's just say I felt like we broke up right then. I was bummed, I'm still am, and now I can safely say I don't think I'll ever find the one God intended for me. So I wrote this at my overnight job kinda in-between customers. Literally everyone was pulling for us, she bummed out more people than just me.

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For the last year

I loved you and treated you

As if you were my very own

Counting down the days till

You would be here and

I would be holding you in my arms again

Only to find out

Once again

Time wasted

Wasn’t mutual

Never was

Sorry if i seem so bitter

Maybe it’s because i am

Thinking you were the one i had

Longed for

I had prayed for

Only to once again be

Wrong

Like every other time before

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Is all i feel

Because it’s literally all I’ve ever known

Thought it would be different this time around

After years of trying

Once again

Starting over

And all the feelings of

My self doubt come creeping back

Am i not good enough?

Am i supposed to be forever alone?

Will i ever experience true love? True passion?

What i have longed for

Starting to feel like time is passing me by

And I’ve completely missed my chance (at true love)

Thinking of all of those i gave up

Just to think i had a chance

Never again will i run away

From my true feelings

Never again will i hold back

My thoughts

As time on earth is short and temporary.

In case one day i finally do

Find the one whom my soul loves