2016 year-in-review. The Best Year Ever!

As 2016 closes and 2017 approaches, let me fondly look back on the amazing and fortunate year I had. I know a lot of people said this is the worst year ever, or "only in 2016" I look at it as a positive. I had so many random meetings with friends, and lots of new experiences!

It started with a phone call in mid-March. I had been half-heartedly searching for a new job because I was burnt out and playing my options. After having 2 interviews at Sam's Club with no success, I tried my luck at Target. I have been trying to apply/work there off-and-on for 15 years (literally) and within 30 minutes of submitting my application online they called for an interview, after 3 interviews during an intense thunderstorm that morning, I was officially and finally a Target team member! I really enjoy working there. I like the atmosphere, I like the people I work with, and I see SO many people I know. So thankful to be there.

Some of the new experiences: in April, I went to a dirt track in Oklahoma with a guy I know that runs dirt late models, and I was in his pits all night. For as long as I have been attending dirt-track races, this was the first time I have EVER been in the pits DURING the event! I also, on Cinco de Mayo, went to my first-ever United States Touring Modified Series (USMTS) show in Greenville. 31 cars for a Thursday night, not too bad, and the show didn't run as long as their Saturday night show, and some really good and fast cars! In June, 2 things I got to do for the first time: after going with a friend to VW of Frisco during a monsoon to meet Tanner Foust of Top Gear and Former F1 and NASCAR driver Scott Speed, he and I won tickets to the global rally races in Fair Park the next day (I didn't even know they were in town) and it worked out, we were in the pits/all access all day, and come to find out one of my friends I hadn't seen in years ended up working as the pit reporter that day, so it was awesome seeing her and getting caught up (briefly) and we definitely got back in touch that day. Getting to see the cars up close and getting ALL the autographs of the drivers was a really awesome day! The next week I went to my usual mid-summer tradition, the NASCAR Truck Series race at Texas Motor Speedway. I went to the autograph session, but was slightly disappointed my favorite driver in the series, Rico Abreu, wasn't at the session. During the pre-race they were allowing fans on the track to make it look more "full" for the TV audience, and I was actually right at the end of the stage where the drivers walk down, they all got a fist pump from me, and I got Rico to sign my hat. Unfortunately I did not bring my camera as it was impromptu, although I have found a few pictures on facebook. So being on track and getting to greet all the drivers, was definitely a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

I went to my first concert in 2 years in September. I saw 3 bands I love: Red, Disciple, and Spoken. Was an amazing night. I actually was able to get pics w/ALL the bands and Red gave me their set list and I had them all sign it. Again, something new. I usually don't bring home any kind of souvenirs from concerts.

I attended 4 weddings (no funerals...) this year. I'm thankful that friends find each other and fall in love, and I was actually the best man at a good friends wedding. Was an honor. I keep thinking that with every wedding I go to, the next one I attend will be...mine. I feel like I'm literally the last man alive. I know my time is coming and it's all in God's timing and not mine.

In July, after attending the wedding of 2 friends we headed to Arlington to watch our 2 hometown teams play each other, the Royals and the Rangers. Watched the game with my parents, 2 aunts 2 uncles 2 cousins, cousins girlfriend and her family. And once again I had another chance meeting, I saw where one of my high school friends from Lee's Summit whom I hadn't seen since 1998 wasn't sitting too far from me, we were able to meet up in between innings.

That was the theme of this year. Random meetings with old friends, and thankful for the new friendships I have made.

It seems the only thing that didn't happen to me, that I so long for, is finding someone. I tried, to no avail. Like I said previously, it's not my time yet and it will happen when it's time. Other than that, this year has been truly unforgettable and thankful for the lifetime of memories made in just one calendar year.

Let's see what 2017 has in store. No matter what happens, God holds the future!

...But Still I Tried...

Since around this time last year, I have liked the same person off-and-on, knowing it wasn't mutal. Why I keep going back? I don't know. I started noticing her, I guess, knowing she was taken at the time, I remember asking her to lunch on Christmas night, and she said it would only be as friends. Flash forward to this fall. I have liked her 3 times since September. Why her? Why not. I mean, one look at her and you can see why. In my eyes, she is absolutely perfect. She is the most beautiful woman in the world I think, at the time, I just kinda looked at my options in my circle, and she was the closest to my age, and she is super sweet, and amazing Christian woman, and can laugh easily, all traits I look for. But it pains me, knowing I have zero chance. None. Zilch. Nada. I have a better chance of winning the lottery tomorrow.

We went to lunch as friends in July, it was over in less than an hour. It was just as friends, didn't seem much of a bond or connection. But still I tried. We attended the wedding of mutual friends from church in early September. She looked absolutely stunning. I could not take my eyes off her. I wanted to ask her to dance, never got up the nerve to. I did all the nice guy things, offered her cake, and went and got her a piece, she was oblivious to it. Still I tried...

I overheard her talking to someone else about relationships and whatnot and knowing that she was single (at the time) was when I officially liked her for the first time, and the first time I have officially liked anyone since my ex and I parted ways 3 years ago. I found out later that week that it, once again, wasn't mutual. I felt like absolute crap for a night, and then decided to not let it get me down and to pick myself up, brush myself off, and move on with my life. Thought about telling her how I had been feeling, then decided best to just let it go and remain friends. Still I tried...

Not long after that she had her birthday and mine was approaching, so I decided to ask her to lunch to celebrate both birthdays. She responded with, if we do go to lunch, I want you to know it's just as friends, I don't want you to think I was leading you on. Ok. So I never really brought it up again. I thought the next day in church would be super awkward. It wasn't. Thankfully I didn't even think about it. We usually sit together and we did and our class went to Chipotle for lunch, and she called me 3 times trying to find the location. Ok, great, still friends, I thought. Still I tried..

Fast forward to this past week. Literally EVERY TIME I see her, I want to ask her to lunch or get an updated picture. We actually did get a new picture, I know it was awkward for her. I promised it wouldn't go on Facebook (since so many of my pictures instantly go up) and I kept my promise, only 2 or 3 people have seen it, I don't even think she did. Sunday night was my most bizarre. I went to her page and looked through ALL of her photos (back to like 2007) like I was in love with her. I got chills (blame it on the cold) and I felt like I was going to cry, knowing I have zero chance with her. Why did I do it? She was on my brain. I think it was because she wasn't in church that morning and so I didn't get to see her. That night I finally prayed about it, to take these feelings away, since they weren't mutual, and I asked God to once again lead me to the right person, and to find a group with people more my age for me to get plugged into. I have yearned for a small group ministry for people in their 30s. I found one that meets at another church about 10 minute from me. Perfect. I hope this was the answered prayer I had been looking for.

She had been on my brain yet again today. Which is why I decided to type this. I don't know why, for the life of me, I have continued to have my eyes set on one particular person all year, knowing it didn't reciprocate, knowing I was just wasting my time. I long. I yearn. I'm desperate. She fit all I look for, but still I tried...

That Awkward Moment..

I have been attending some sort of college/singles-aged Bible study on Thursday nights since...college. It's hard for someone at my point of life (mid-30s single) to plug in somewhere with people my age, because most people my age are, well, married. I am obviously not (and may not ever...) I had been friends with one particular female for 5 or 6 years. I had never considered her anything beyond friendship. Then a couple weeks ago, things got REALLY awkward. I had been considering moving on from Thursday night group because, well, there comes a time in life where you have to move away from things. This particular female sent me a facebook message out of the blue saying that she wasn't interested in anyone, wasn't looking for anyone at the moment, and didn't know if I was interested (I wasn't...) and that it wasn't mutual. Ok. Thanks for letting me know that. I was 10 years older than her, I hadn't given her a second thought during the week. The last time I attended Thursday night Bible study I got her number so I could keep in touch with her, since I always did enjoy at least talking to her. Bad idea.

I sent a text not long after all this unfolded trying to make 100% sure that I had zero interest in her. But then I made it even more awkward. One wrong word in a sentence can make things that much more awkward. I said, I had, in fact, been interested in someone off-and-on all year, but I kept quiet about you. Oops. I meant to say, I kept quiet about it. Again, one wrong word can change an entire sentence to make it sound like nothing you initially meant to say.

I noticed she had since unfriended me on Facebook. Ok? Good riddance? We'll see each other in heaven, but if you no longer want to remain friends, Bye Felicia. I never intended for this to lead in anything beyond friendship, I apologize for whatever I may have done or said, you're a very sweet person and I WAS thankful for your friendship, but with that being said, enjoy your life, you'll never hear from me again. I'll leave you alone from here on out.

And with that, it's finally time for me to stop hanging around kids 19-22 (roughly...) I don't want to force something that isn't there.